F. E. A. R.

Fear is such a dominating emotion. One of the things I have learned since getting sober is how much fear ruled my life before and during my using days. I have heard many acronyms for fear, here are a few of them:

False Evidence Appearing Real

Face Everything And Recover

Forget Everything And Run (clean version)

False Expectations Appearing Real

Forget Everything About Reality

Failure Expected And Received

There are more I am sure, but these are the immediate ones that come to mind. I mentioned at the beginning that fear had dominated most of my life prior to getting sober, and in some respects, fear has a significant function in my everyday life. I have heard many times that fear can be a defect OR an asset, it just depends on how I use it. Some fears can be heathy. For example, fear of jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a rational and healthy fear. The same goes for anything that puts me in danger, with no buffer for safety. One of those healthy fears in my life is a fear of relapse. This fear leads me to take precautions to circumvent a relapse. On the other end of the spectrum, fear can be a crippling, debilitating force as well. It seems to me that fear without preparation is an almost guaranteed route to the realization of that fear in my life. If I am so afraid of relapse that I can’t even walk into a convenience store alone because they sell booze, that is not a healthy use of that fear. Therefore, if I want to make a healthy use of my fears, I have to identify them and be wiling to do whatever it takes to make sure that fear is used in a healthy manner. In one of the books I read from quite often, the author notes that when my character defects are on display, it is most likely because of self-centered fear. I think the vast majority of my fears are self-centered. These days I am able to channel my fears into healthy qualities for the most part. However, I am not perfect and I still battle with fears regularly, most notably when I fail to identify them and plan for them. I am so much better off when I use my fears positively to benefit myself as opposed to allowing them to keep me from even being able to act or make a decision. Thanks for reading, I wish you all the best!