31-Day Spiritual Guided: Day 22/23 – Consideration/Kindness

I decided to add these two together to even me up on the days so I can finish the month out on even days. Also, they pretty much go hand-in-hand. When meditating on these topics today, I was reminded of something my sponsor told me early in recovery. We were discussing character defects, among other things, and at the time I had not quite gotten comfortable enough to be COMPLETELY honest about some things and I went into how “I never stole anything to support my habit, I wasn’t that bad” knowing that was an outright lie. I thought I had it sold and my sponsor, without missing a beat said “Do you think your mother ever laid awake at night worried about her son, do you think she ever spent time praying for your safety and fearing she was gonna get another call you were in jail or worse?” I thought for a minute and said “well, yeah of course” because if there was one thing I was sure of in life it was that my mother loved me. He replied, “Well, do you think it is fair to say you stole time from her? Or peace of mind?” That hit me like an iron skillet to the bridge of the nose. Even if I had never physically stolen anything (which I had) then I had stolen those things from my mother. That was time I could never give back, time I could never repay. The reason I thought of this story is because in all the time I was running and gunning it never once dawned on me that anyone else was affected by my actions, or lack of action. I had absolutely no consideration for anyone or anything other than myself. I was in a constant state of selfish and self-centered behavior that was based out of fear. Today, while I sometimes am not so great at being considerate, I am much better than before and I am grateful I can continue to grow. As I stated before, I believe consideration and kindness go hand-in-hand. They are like peanut butter and jelly, good as individuals but great together. Like consideration, kindness was not something I ever put much stock in before I got sober. I also suffer from RBF (look it up) and often look like I am rude and unapproachable before I even speak to anyone. Add the fact that I am sarcastic by nature, I don’t even mean to be it’s just how I communicate. My initial response is almost always sarcastic and can lead to some serious misunderstandings if I don’t clarify or realize what I have done. But I try to be better everyday. I want to continue being kinder and more considerate of others because when I make it all about me, things don’t go so well. If you have read this far thanks for stopping by! I wish you all the best!!